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Officially Terrified

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I would have updated yesterday, but like I said in a previous post... exhaustion has become my everyday life.

Yesterday, I had my weekly NST at the hospital L&D - along with some extra blood work ordered by Dr. Bailey. When I got there, they sent me straight to the lab and had me pee in a cup and drew 3 vials of blood, leaving me woozy. Then I was sent to the birthing center for my NST.

I laid there strapped to the monitor for almost 3 hours, waiting on the results from the lab. They wouldn't let me leave because they said if the results came back looking bad, Dr. Bailey might want them to do something about it. That was a scary thought...

So I'm laying there dozing off, when I hear the door open. There's Dr. Bailey at the foot of my bed. My first thought was, "Oh my God... Not today... I'm not ready." Usually after my NST is over, the nurses will call him and give him the results. That day, he actually decided he needed to come in person... that was unnerving.

The nurse told me my NST looked good, but the labs were back and though all the blood work looked good, there was a little protein in my urine. Dr. Bailey looked over my swelling, checked out the NST results, then told me "In an ideal situation, I'd like to wait at least another week to deliver." I felt my face go hot. A week? I'm only 33 weeks... with a baby measuring almost 2 weeks behind that! No pregnant woman wants to hear that at 33 weeks. It was my understanding that if the blood pressure medicine did it's job and stabilized me, we'd be good until I delivered at full term. Did he see something that made him change his mind? The protein maybe?

I've got so much going on in my head. We don't even have a NICU here. The closest one is like an hour and a half away... The Bean is still breech, so he'd be a c-section, which is terrifying. How would I be able to breastfeed if he has to be hooked to tubes in the NICU?

I'm praying that at my appointment in the morning, the blood pressure meds have done their job and Dr. Bailey will tell me we're good for a few more weeks.

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